Homeless and Begging For Food in Maine.

The other day I went for a walk.  The sun was bright, the wind had a chill in it, humidity was low and spirits high.  As I got closer to the interstate overpass on the main drag, I felt my anxiety rise and my stomach felt like I had butterflies on crack in there and my breathing was shallow and rapid.  Yeah, it's pretty clear to me I have a slight fear of bridges and over passes.  Anway, I calmed myself by humming and forcing controlled breaths and as I walked over I-95 I couldn't help but notice how low the rail was and being the whimp I am, I put my right hand up to the side of my temple area shading my eyes from all peripheral view to the right of me, hiding the busy cars racing by just feet below me. 

Once to the other side of the overpass I took my hand down and came to a stop walk.  I looked for a button to push but there was none so I waited patiently for the walk light to signal it was safe to cross in front of the people getting off I-95 North bound.  It was noon and I was surprised at how many cars were traveling at that time of day and ended up standing there for quite some time.  I had decided the light was broken so I would just cross anyway between the stop and go cars.  As I stood there waiting for my move, I caught movement to my right about 15 yards or so from me. There, back to to me leaned up against the guard rail, appeared to be a young woman dressed in brown sweatshirt, brown wavy hair pulled back into a ponytail.  Her blue jeans were as baggy as her shirt and both were very dirty and it appeared she had been wearing them for quite some time.  Her hair looked clean what what I could see from back to. I brushed her off figuring she was probably waiting for someone she knew to get off that exit. And confirming my thought after studying the reactions of 'blankness' from each passenger as they drove by her reassured me she did not look to be in any trouble and was just there waiting for someone like I first thought. Until she turned slightly then I saw she was holding a cardboard sign.  At this point I just figured she was probably a hitchhiker trying to make it to Bar Harbor or some place and stood there waiting for my chance to cross the ramp. 

As I stood there watching traffic, people and this person holding the sign, it was then she dropped it.  I was close enough to read two very clear words FOOD and HOMELESS the other words were too small for me to read.  She reached down and picked the sign up and leaned casually against the rail again.  Instinctively I took a step towards her but then for some reason I paused.  When I did there was this man in a truck waiting to pull out onto the main road.  He had his window down.  He looked at me, looked away, then at me again, then in his rear side view mirror, the turned his head out the window looking at the woman holding the FOOD HOMELESS sign he had just passed moments before.  He then back at me and then looked down at the seat beside him, looked at me tagain then back at the woman holding the sign.  He leaned out the window opened his mouth but didnt' say anything, then reached beside him and held out a Mc. Donald's bag and said "Hey".  the lady holding the sign turned and took the bag from him, said "thanks, I'm going to go over there and eat it" with no emotion at all then ran across the main drag.  She took no time at all to climb over the rail and down out of site under the overpass.  The man looked at me just as he had time to pull out.  I said, "Bless you" to which he gave a nod.  Just then the light finally changed saying it was safe for me to walk.

After I crossed the ramp and out of harms way of traffic I stood there looking across the road where the young lady had gone out of site.  I stood there for quite some time pondering and talking myself out of going after her.  I mean I really really really had to talk myself out of following this girl under the over pass! What was I going to do once I caught up to her?  Well, I wanted to explain to her there were 2 shelters in the area, free meals every day of the week and help if she needed it but I didn't. Why?  Because after my initial instinct of compassion passed and came back to reality and with rational thinking I reasoned the following:

1. Lora-Jean, you don't have any idea what could be waiting for you under that bridge.
2. Lora-Jean, you are no longer an outreach worker.
3. Lora-Jean, there are people you can call, such as outreach workers, police etc.
4. She may want to live that way or maybe she is just passing thru.
5. The Penobscot Sheriff stopped beside her holding the sign while in traffic.  He did nothing.  He asked nothing.  He said nothing.  He pretended he didn't see her. A blind eye if you will, so why are you so concerned if these other people aren't.  Are you reading something into something thats' not?
6. She is probably here every day taking advantage of people.

#6 is not a proud moment for me since I work at a homeless shelter! 

I do find it very interesting how each and EVERY single person who passed her in vehicles never spoke, waved, smiled at her but instead ignored a woman holding a sign for food.  Not once did I see the passengers sitting beside eachother in the cars acknowledge that they saw this lady asking for food! It was like they ignored the whole scene or maybe if I acknowledge her in any way then it becomes real. "If I ignore it, it will go away or it doesn't exit" mentality.  In many ways this is sad.  It is sad that I too could rationalize her standing there with a sign begging for food when I work at a homeless shelter and know of many resources around that could help her...if she wanted it that is. I also know it is NOT safe going into a homeless site alone.

I did end up calling a few people I know and passed the information along and am waiting back on a call as we speak since everyone I have called thus far keeps passing the buck.